Lessons in Childcare

Being raised in a large family does not automatically make someone 1) good at taking care of younger children or 2) want to take care of children. I, however, happened to experience all of the above.

I did not start out as being good at nurturing and protecting others. My desire to love and nurture and ultimately become a mother helped me to learn how to be a good childcare provider.

At 13 I started babysitting outside of my family and found that I could be good at it. I loved it for a few years but as I reached maybe 17 years of age I lost interest in babysitting.

I didn’t take a break for too long. I was 18 years old when I started living on my own and had my first “job.” I became a basic childcare provider at a daycare in Las Vegas where I lived. I found a place to rent with roommates near my workplace and moved out of my parents house.

I was underestimated upon hiring. The manager thought I wouldn’t last...that I was not cut out for childcare. It turned out I loved it. From then on I learned how to properly protect and teach children. What to do and what not to do. I learned that even if a childcare worker was elderly or had been in the childcare scene for many many years, there are many who don’t have the patience to safely and correctly do the job. Right away in the career I saw a woman who had been at the center for a long time, who was in charge of a three year old room. She would threaten the kids to behave. I heard her tell a child that she was going to close him into the dark closet if he didn’t “stop” what he was doing. At the very moment she said that the child’s mother happened to be watching through a glass window but mother had no idea what was being said. She could not hear through the window.
I was shocked.

I learned many “what not to do’s” by watching workers with more experience than I had. Lucky for me, I had more patience than they did. Perhaps, when those specific people started the career they too had the love and patience I was was starting out with? Maybe they had just been in the career too long and had gotten tired and sloppy? Whatever the reason; they were on dangerous ground when I saw them.
I had a way to keep myself safe in my childcare career; speak and act as if the parents or my boss was watching. Then you will always be your best and treat the kids with love and respect.

I moved to a small town in Utah and started working at a daycare there. It was a home that had been turned into a place of business. Nobody lived in the house.
It was a two story house with a large backyard. Some of the room had been turned into baby rooms for specific ages. Other rooms designated for each age groups. One large play room where the older kids hung out. A dining room kitchen where the kids had breakfast, lunch and snack. The downstairs was the toddler area with some extra rooms, restroom and closets.

This daycare was overall a good place. The childcare workers were typically great. However, when you only have one adult with children even for a little while things happen. For example; a child might get left behind and end up with a story “the teacher told me I had to stay locked in the closet with the light off” when the other kids went out to play. Being someone who worked with this teacher I found the story hard to believe. The child was about 3 years old and came up with this story after talking to their mom who was in interrogation mode trying to figure out how her child was left alone downstairs.
Children are impressionable. On the other hand, childcare workers can lose their patience and say or do things they shouldn’t. Knowing who is telling the truth can be impossible.

Back then we had a school age child in the center who was on medication to calm himself down from being violent. He had been kicked out of his previous daycare and ours took him in.
Most of the time he was fine. He would play and be good after school at the center.
One day he was upset and when he didn’t get his way he grabbed a pencil and tried to stab my hand with it. Luckily, I had faster reflexes than this child. He then turned and chased children with the pencil in a stabbing ready position- arm raised and pencil lead facing the direction of the child in his path.
I had to physically restrain him from behind. Holding his arms down and not letting him move from that spot. We had not been trained what to do in this situation. Even knowing his troubled behavior the daycare did not supply the “teachers” with directions for these possible situations.

I had done what I needed to do. I held him not with anger but because I cared about him and the other children. I had to hold him with strength...but not with anger. This was fine back then in childcare however, years later I would learn that is not the way to handle a dangerous child in the school system when I would become a substitute teacher. In fact, that is not allowed: to physically restrain a child even if they are attempting to harm others.

In Utah I climbing the career ladder by attending class put on by the state. Classes that taught me many things including the truth that there is a difference between “punishment” and “discipline.” This would serve me well in the future as a parent. It helped me to know how to discipline with love and teaching.

Before finishing my climb up the ladder I took another break from childcare. Many years later I was a mother of two boys and I started teaching preschool out of my home. I started with another mom and we tried to build our group of mom’s willing to teach. We failed to find volunteers. So, we two decided to build the class by inviting other children even though we would be the only two teachers.

Twice a week we had class and we rotated the teacher and home of the class. It was great! We had so much fun learning in the class! It went so well that the following school year I taught preschool out of my home again...this time solo. I created my own curriculum when I couldn’t find one online that I loved.

We played in cardboard box cars when we learned the letter Cc. We went on a treasure hunt with a map when we learned the letter Xx.
We used playdough and paints and sensory bins to learn. We experienced water beads and we learned songs. We danced and practiced playing kindly together. We had fun snacks that often matched the lesson.

I took two years off and started up again when my daughter became old enough for preschool. She had two years in our at home preschool with friends.

I started substitute teaching. As a sub I learned that teaching in the school system is very different from daycare and at home preschool. I also learned that as time goes on the rules get more strict in the school system. It makes it harder and harder for teachers and administrators to stay in the field. To be happy in their careers.

For example: workers are restrained in many ways such as stopping a child from harming others, as previously mentioned.
When I experienced a child attacking other children (with kicks and hits) in a kindergarten room I had to think fast on how to stop the child without physically restraining them. I stood between the child feeling violent and the children they wanted to get to. I tried not giving the violent child direct eye contact and not giving them the direct attention they wanted. That worked out fairly well.
This situation was not just difficult for me but for the other administrator who had to talk to the violent child’s parents (who were defensive in response).

Children who feel violent or disrespectful at school or daycare usually do this because of what is happening at home. They have instability or problems in their home life. Their mental and emotional and sometimes physical needs are not being met. So they act out.
As a teacher or childcare worker this is so important to remember. It is not just a bad kid. The child does not simply want to make our lives difficult. They are showing their inner struggles outwardly.

When I chose childcare as my first job in life I did not know it would become my career. I soon learned that it would and my father suggested against it. He said that it was “babysitting” in a different form and that I wouldn’t be able to make enough money to live off of. But, I had to choose for myself.

Over the years in this career area I have learned so many things that have made me a better mother. It was training for motherhood! It has served my family well!

At this point I am not working full time. My children are still young and I am not pressed financially to go all in. I am, however, getting substituting experience and one day I will be a full time sub. With my husband working and myself working, after the air force, we should be just fine.