Holidays Then and Now

 When living far from family at "the holidays" it is not a surprise to reflect on memories of holidays past. Especially those that were spent with family and even those of one's childhood.

I was a child in the late 80s and early 90s. Back then a "good parent" was one who set strict rules and had high standards but let their children go out into the world to live, to play, to learn and grow. Children would play in the street and at friends' houses, parks and corner stores.  

 

Since then America's majority society has changed the standards of what a "good parent" is. A good parent now will keep their children inside the home where they cannot be kidnapped, molested or influenced by bad friends. Under the watchful eye of Mom and Dad. This is great, however, children are too protected. They are kept from getting too dirty outside. Kept from climbing too high on the playground structured. Too often kept from taking chances, making mistakes and getting messy (Ms. Frizzle Magic School Bus reference).

When I was a child a good parent would teach their child to save money, spend responsibly, do house chores well, cook meals and take care of siblings. All useful things for taking care of one's self as an adult and for caring for a family of their own.
I have seen these things too often fall through the cracks now a days. 

In my family, a large family living in a low income part of the city, we had some fun holiday traditions. Family togetherness was important. Of course there were kids who didn't want to participate and sulked when they were forced too. Utilizing their free will to oppose"the man." It is normal for some rebellion to occur in growing up. 

For Valentine's day we would make valentine hearts and cards to give to people we cared about. We would take cards and sometimes treats to everyone in our school classroom for our themed party.
When I was a teenager my father began bringing valentine gifts, such as roses, to not only his wife but all of his daughters. It made me feel loved and I remember it fondly.

For Easter I remember our Easter baskets being hidden inside the house. On Easter morning the children had to search for the basket that was their own, not revealing to the others when they spotted their baskets first. The older the child the harder the basket was hidden.
And with so many children involved and each getting different gifts in their basket there were children (including myself) who would cry because of envy of what was in others' baskets. Feeling upset that the Easter Bunny didn't know them individually as well as they wished (that the easter bunny gave the plushy I wanted to my sister).

Some years we would travel to visit relatives. None of our relatives lived in the same state as us. My mother came from Arizona and my father came from Utah. They settled in Nevada.
And when we would visit relatives for Easter we would have Easter egg hunts outdoors with cousins. Visiting cousins was so special to me. 

For the fourth of July sometimes we would simply set up folding chairs by the street outside our house and set off little fireworks and sparklers. With our neighbors. Viewing the giant fireworks in the sky from there.
Sometimes we would get together with friends nearby (or relatives in another state) for extra fun activities. Dressing up in red, white and blue with toy instruments and marching a parade. Eating an all American potluck: corn on the cob, potato salad, fresh watermelon, barbecue hot dogs, hamburgers.

Even bigger than Independence day, in my family, was the celebration of Pioneer day. The 24th of July every year we celebrated the struggles and triumphs of the early Latter Day Saints who were pioneers and trekked far to find a place God wanted them to settle and worship.
We celebrated in a big way: carnival games, dinner, country music entertainment and a big firework show with true patriotic music. It was one of the best days of the entire year. It sparked such joy and patriotism inside me. For my country and for anyone who struggled to find safety and true freedom like the early "saints".

 Halloween is my favorite holiday though. Even as an adult. There is something about dressing up in costumes and extremes that makes my spirit, my true inner self, shine with pure joy and excitement.
Trick or Treating I always went with an adult or we kids went in groups and were told not to split up. We would bring the candy home to be quickly inspected (making sure nothing dangerous or odd looking candies were among the loot) before we attacked it and started trading candies. 

At Thanksgiving we would have a feast. Having a house full of people eating and chatting was so great. Focusing on our gratitude as a family and as individuals made me happy. And the memories of simply that makes me happy still. Every Thanksgiving I miss those times. I miss my family.

At Christmas time we would carol every year. Whether it was guided by my parents or my church youth group leaders, it would happen.
Christmas light observance also happened every year. Sometimes we would drive around the city finding neighborhoods to check out. Sometimes we would go to specific yards or places that were extra decorated and open for viewing...really impressive places. With characters set up such as Santa, elves, reindeer doing fun things like preparing for Christmas and living their normal lives. Little houses were erected and covered in colorful lights. Fake snow used because we lived in the dessert and never received fluffy snowfall naturally.

Every year we would attend a Christmas party where Santa Clause would make an appearance and hand out candy canes after hearing our Christmas wish.

On Christmas eve we would dress in our new Christmas jammies and read the story of the Savior's birth from the scriptures. 

For New Year's Eve there would often be at a party at our house, just for our family. With special foods like frozen food finger foods, other finger food snacks and frape (7UP and fruit sherbet ice cream).

What I miss the most about holidays growing up is being in each other's lives. Spending time together with my parents and my siblings and eventually their children.
I miss being in the same space whether they wanted it or not. Now, nobody is forced to get together. Even if an event is planned...it doesn't ensure those invited will attend. 

When I was last in America (Two years and and eight months ago) my wish was to live near family. To never live oversees again. But the Air Force moved us to Japan. So I told myself I would go "home" to visit my family every year.

 Then Covid-19 took over the earth and I don't know for sure if I will even be able to make it back this upcoming summer. Life is hard when you can't live where you want or even visit. Which is why I count down to moving back to America (1 year and four+ months). 

With no relatives to visit my husband and children have our owns traditions. We like to invite other families to join us...to give us the feeling of a large family that my husband and I both grew up with. We host parties and dinners.
For Valentine's day we share a heart shaped box of chocolates as a family. Often while outside around a firepit. And I use the decorative box as a Valentine decoration for the house. I like to collect them.
We celebrate St. Patrick's day with themed games and gold coins that are really chocolate. With fun themed decorations.
We celebrate Easter with hidden Easter baskets and a mini version of Easter egg hunting called "Jelly Bean Hunt." Hiding single jelly beans around the room means they can do hunts more often with less candy going into their mouths.
For the fourth of July we watch the fireworks from somewhere different. Every place we live we have to find the best place to see the fireworks from. It might be from our porch and our hammock, down the street from our house...anywhere that we feel we can get a good show without facing crowds. We don't go to event spaces where everyone crowds for the show.
For Halloween I choose a costume for each member of the family and often I make the costumes myself. Then I also let the kids pick their own, a second costume. Often from a collection of stuff I bought after Halloween when the costumes were 90percent off!
And we take portraits of the different costumes worn each October.

For Christmas we do a family portrait at home in front of a Christmas themed backdrop. We bake treats to hand out to friends. We prepare a talent to share online with my husband's family on their Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve we host a breakfast feast. We invite other families and everyone has a chance to make a food wish for this meals. We hang out ; visiting and playing games or watching movies.
And Christmas morning the children have to wait for Dad and Mom. We go downstairs together after Dad turns on the Christmas light downstairs. Sometimes I go down first so I can video tape the children coming down and their reactions to seeing their gifts.

New Year's Eve we give the children the chance to stay up until midnight but we let them sleep if they crash. We have snacks and movies. Usually just our little family at home. I don't like staying up late so typically I go right to sleep at like 12:05am.

I am truly grateful for fun traditions and silly ways to celebrate in this life. Bringing joy and creating memories for our children. There are just three days until Christmas, right now. And my family is truly blessed. Blessed to be together, healthy and loving life. 

Happy Holidays everyone!